Funny Quotes About Jobs to Keep You Laughing In This Economy

From Denny:  Everyone has jobs on their mind.  Everyone wants a better paying job, a long term job, a job with real health benefits and a pension.  Keep dreaming.  Someone has to stay positive in this economy.

If all that day dreaming doesn't work out for you how about laughing your way through the trying times?  These cute quotes will keep you smiling and stuffed full of happy thoughts - while you roll your eyes at yet one more blowhard self-important boss in a Boring Contest corporate meeting.

Rockin' Christmas Throw Pillow

Have a rockin' great Christmas, complete with dancing Christmas tree and singing reindeer!  Support Warriors Pearl Foundation - helping homeless female military veterans come home.  Visit Denny Lyon Gifts  @ CafePress.com  -  see what's new!  Thanks for your support.  You rock!

Quotes

* Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas. - Paula Poundstone

* The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. - Anonymous

* By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. - Robert Frost

* I think my idea of retirement might be to one day work a 40-hour week. - Vince McMahon

* Statistics indicate that, as a result of overwork, modern executives are dropping like flies on the nation's golf courses. - Ira Wallach

* What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. - Pearl Bailey, jazz singer in the 1950's

* One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. - Bertrand Russell

* What is it that you like doing? If you don't like it, get out of it, because you'll be lousy at it. - Lee Iacocca

* A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer. ~ Dean Acheson - Otherwise known as C. Y. A.

* Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. - C. Northcote Parkinson





Source: LakePalin @ Photobucket



* The difference between a job and a career is the difference between forty and sixty hours a week. - Robert Frost

* The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost

* People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. - Ogden Nash

* You're no good unless you are a good assistant; and if you are, you're too good to be an assistant. - Martin H. Fischer

* An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field. - Niels Bohr

* Law of the Alibi:  If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. - Anonymous

* A baseball game is twice as much fun if you're seeing it on the company's time. - William C. Feather

* I've met a few people in my time who were enthusiastic about hard work. And it was just my luck that all of them happened to be men I was working for at the time. - Bill Gold

* Researchers at Harvard say that taking a power nap for an hour in the afternoon can totally refresh you. They say that by the time you wake up you'll feel so good, you'll be able to start looking for a new job. - Jay Leno

* I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy. - Danny McGoorty

* Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

* The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form. - Stanley J. Randall

Funny Normal is Boring Suede Pillow

Throw out your funny challenge of the day - Normal is Boring... Step Aside

Support Warriors Pearl Foundation - helping homeless female military veterans come home.  Visit Denny Lyon Gifts  @ CafePress.com  -  see what's new!  Thanks for your support.  You rock!


* The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play. - Arnold Toynbee

* A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn. - Dave Barry

* Monday is a lame way to spend 1/7 of your life. - Anonymous

* A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B. - "Fats" Domino, singer from the 1950's and 60's

* Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. - H. Jackson Browne

* Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. - Howard Aiken

* The number one sign you have nothing to do at work: The 4th Division of Paperclips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry and General White-Out has called for a new skirmish. - Fred Barling, "Humorscope"

* If a train station is where the train stops, what's a work station? - Anonymous

* Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. - Doug Larson





Source:  AuroraTN @ Photobucket




* Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. - Anonymous

* Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work. - John G. Pollard

* Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben

* If you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson, The Simpsons  (Let's see:  half-assed pay = half-assed work or the old proverb:  If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.)

Fat Elf Christmas Suede Pillow

Delivery: 1 fat elf stuffed full of good cheer!

* * *  Support Warriors Pearl Foundation - helping homeless female military veterans come home.  Visit Denny Lyon Gifts  @ CafePress.com  -  see what's new!  Thanks for your support.  You rock!

Subscribe in a reader to Dennys Funny Quotes

* Check out Dennys News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food - a place where all my other 20 blogs link so you can choose from among the latest posts all in one place.  A free to read online newspaper from independent journalist blogger Denny Lyon. * 

*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!



*** Check out Holiday Recipes From Dennys Food and Recipes

Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food: Best Funny Mothers Day Quotes, Trivia, Photography, Poetry

Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food: Best Funny Mothers Day Quotes, Trivia, Photography, Poetry: From Denny:  Today is the day we honor the mothers in our lives.  Sometimes, those mothering women are our fond memories of those who helped us to become better and stronger people today.

They may be our biological or adoptive mothers, grandmothers, aunts, older friends who mentored us, fabulous school teachers.  Whoever the best women are in your lives, take a moment today and this week to enjoy the best of what they gave to you.

As I've blogged over the past few years, there are now a happy pile of women inspired posts and some very funny Mother's Day quotes to enjoy:

Beautiful Illustrated Quotations: 12 Funny Quotes About Prayer

Beautiful Illustrated Quotations: 12 Funny Quotes About Prayer: From Denny: Prayer is a wonderful thing. It can bring us comfort, calm our fears and inspire us. It's also quite amusing to view it in terms of the human condition called "whining." There is also "bargaining." Once you grow past those two obvious pitfalls you discover "peaceful communion."

Funny Quotes From TV Shows

Check out these funny quotes from your favorite TV shows!

Dennys World of Quotes: Fathers Day Quotes: Funny and Inspirational

Happy Father's Day! photo by jwlphotography @ flickr, All Rights Reserved with embed code available

Dennys World of Quotes: Fathers Day Quotes: Funny and Inspirational: "Best quote: The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat. - Robert Frost

Father's Day Quotes

He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence Budington Kelland, U.S. Writer

A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society. - Billy Graham, Christian Evangelist

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
- Theodore Hesburgh, Catholic Priest and President Emeritus of the University of Notre Dame

How true Daddy's words were when he said: 'All children must look after their own upbringing.' Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank, German Jew and Holocaust Victim

It is much easier to become a father than to be one. - Kent Nerburn, U.S. Author and Educator

We are given children to test us and make us more spiritual. - George Will, U.S. Journalist

Dennys World of Quotes: Memorial Day Quotes

Dennys World of Quotes: Memorial Day Quotes: "Memorial Day

Each man is a hero and an oracle to somebody. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened. - Billy Graham

The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it. - Thucydides

Self-trust is the essence of heroism. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A hero is one who knows how to hang on one minute longer. - Novalis"


*** To read more just click on the link ***

Dennys World of Quotes: Work and Unemployment Quotes

Dennys World of Quotes: Work and Unemployment Quotes: "Work and Unemployment Quotes

We believe that if men have the talent to invent new machines that put men out of work, they have the talent to put those men back to work. - President John F. Kennedy

Unemployment diminishes people. Leisure enlarges them. - Mason Cooley

When I quit working, I lost all sense of identity in about fifteen minutes. - Paige Rense

An 'acceptable' level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job. - Anonymous

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job. - Slappy White

Unemployment is capitalism's way of getting you to plant a garden. - Orson Scott Card

We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us. - Anonymous"

*** To read more click on link ***

Top Quotes from Dr. Seuss

Theodor Seuss Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss, was an iconic and beloved American writer and cartoonist. He published over 60 children's books including the bestselling classics Green Eggs and Ham, The Cat in the Hat, and One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish.

 

 

Here are the most popular and inspirational dr. Seuss quotes!

• Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.

• I meant what I said and I said what I meant.

• The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.

• Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.

• You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

•  Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

• From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.

• Just tell yourself, Duckie, you're really quite lucky!

• I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells.

• And the turtles, of course... All the turtles are free -- As turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be.

• You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself, any direction you choose.

• Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So... get on your way.

• So you see! There's no end to the thing you might know, depending how far beyond Zebra you go.

• Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try.

•  Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.

• I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam I am!

• You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you will be the guy who'll decide where you'll go. Oh the places you'll go.

• When you think things are bad, when you feel sour and blue, when you start to get mad... You should do what I do.

That '70s Show - Best Quotes

 Everyone knows That '70s show, all those funny moments and situations. Take a look at some of the funniest quotes!

Kitty: Eric, you've hardly touched your breakfast.

Eric: That's because I don’t know what it is.

Kitty: Well, it's just, it's eggs and hash and some…surprises!

Eric: Mom, why aren't you eating it?

Kitty: Well, I just, I have never been a breakfast person.

Hyde: Is this rabbit?

Kitty: No!

Laurie: Mom, if Daddy gets a job, can we stop eating dog food?

Kitty: Laurie, it is not dog food. And God, I hope so.

[Red walks in dressed in a suit and tie.]

Red: So: would you hire me?

Laurie: I'd hire you, Daddy! Especially if the position was world’s best father.

 

Hyde: So where’s Donna, man?

Eric: Donna? Donna? Oh! You mean that girl who spent last night in my bed?

Hyde: Yeah, yeah, that’s the one.

Eric: She went home this morning.

Hyde: So? Ah? Ah? Soooo?

Eric: So let’s just say she went home a very happy woman.

 

[Eric is being punished for "smoking." Red has him sweeping out the garage. Bob blames Eric for Donna failing English.]

Red: Well, that's kind of stupid, Bob.

Bob: Well, I guess the truth hurts.

Red: So does a swift kick in the ass.

Bob: All right, I'm going. But a swift kick in the ass is not the solution to everything, Forman!

Red: I gotta disagree, Bob!

Eric: Uh, Dad... thanks for...

Red: KEEP SWEEPING, SMOKER!

 

[The guys are putting in a new water heater]

Eric: [on the new water heater] This is the best water heater ever. God bless us, every one.

Red Forman: Do you know why Tiny Tim walked with a crutch?

Eric: Because he had a smart mouth?

Red Forman: That's right.

 

[Eric sees a deer.]

Eric: [to Red] Look at him. He's magnificent. He's the king of the forest, just like...Bambi's dad. It's beautiful.

Red: [shoots deer] Yeah, and I bet he tastes beautiful, too. [before going down to collect the deer] Oh, and just for the record, Eric, I'm the king of the forest.

 

[Fez tries out Twister on his own]

Fez: Ok, here we go. [spins the spinner] Right hand blue. [does game behind the couch.]

Eric: Fez, you can't play Twister by yourself.

Fez: That's where you're wrong, my friend. [pause] Right leg green. Oh, that's gonna be tough. [leg appears above the couch, then he slowly puts it back down]

Hyde: Hey, Fez, man. The circus called. They said they'd pay you fifty bucks a week if you can kiss your own ass.

Fez: Take a message.

 

Bob: Hey, there kids, where've you two been?

Donna: God, Dad, can't we be gone for a minute without you making all sorts of accusations? I mean, God, it was just a minute!

Eric: To be fair, Donna, it was a little more than a minute.

 

Donna: Jackie, you are so totally out of form. I can see it in your eyes.

Jackie: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I like Fez? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! [runs off]

 

Red: We all know what you did.

Kitty: No, we don't.

Laurie: [cheering] I do!

Eric: Of course you do! You...majored in it!

 

[Eric starts to drive the car into the garage]

Eric: What the...?

Red: You're moving it a foot and you hit something. Jeez.

Eric: Oh my God! Its... Its Mr. Bonkers.

Red: Wow. That is one dead cat.

 

Kelso: So, did you kiss her? 'Cause I'll kill you if you kissed her.

Fez: No, I didn't want to kiss her. I wanted to hand her a napkin... There was not a moment when she didn't have a face full of food. I was disgusted.

 

[Kelso leaves with Laurie]

Hyde: No offense, Mrs. Forman, but those two could make the dumbest babies ever.

 

[As Hyde is taken into custody over marijuana]

Jackie: Steven Hyde, you were right. We will never be friends. We'll be more than friends. Because now I love you!

Hyde: Oh, my God, will you shut up?

 

[The gang think of ways on how to spend their Halloween. Kelso has an idea.]

Kelso: You know what would be fun? If we were in an Alfred Hitchcock movie right now, and we didn’t know it. And then, someone one told us and we were all like, “Oh man! I’m in a movie!" [Hyde, Kelso, Donna, Eric, Jackie, and Fez individually give surprised looks to the camera]

Donna: Yeah, ok, I’m out of here.

Eric: Wait, but I thought we-

Donna: GET BENT!

Eric: Ok, I’ll do that.

 

Eric: [staggering from the car] Kelso, it's fine. I'm not that drunk... I just can't walk or see... Man, that was a great party. [imitates Red] I'm Red. I don't like parties because I'm a big, bald party-pooper! [Red walks outside the house] Holy Crap! [throws up on Red's shoes]

Red: Son of a bitch!

 

Donna: Ooh, it's kinda cold.

Eric: Here, take my jacket.

Donna: I love you.

Eric: God, we are such a... perfect couple.

Jackie: I'm cold, too.

Kelso: Well, damn, Jackie. I can't control the weather!

 

[Hyde and Fez are playing a game in the basement when Kelso barges in]

Kelso: [excited] I just saw a UFO!

Hyde: [in voice similar to Kelso's] Oh, my God! What an unbelievable coincidence. I was just telling Fez about how dumb you are!

 

Donna: Wait, what are you doing?

Eric: Study break?

Donna: [Shoves him off the bed] Get bent.

Eric: [on the floor] Oww. Oh, there's my underwear.

 

[Eric is trying to connect new speakers in his car]

Hyde: Where's the tunes, Forman?

Fez: I learned how to speak English faster than this.

Kelso: It's not real English if you speak it with a foreign accent.

 

Kitty: Oooh, look how cute you are. This is just like when you were five, and played make believe dinner. Only this time, it won't end by Donna sitting on Eric's face. [Awkward pause] OK.

[Kitty and Red start leaving]

Red: Kitty, that was bad.

Kitty: I know, keep walking.

[Kitty and Red finally leave]

Eric: Oh, good, and I thought this was going to be awkward.

 

Eric: So, you're saying that Donna and I will be okay?

Red: No. All I did was scratch your mother's shoes. I didn't pull her pants down in front of God and the foreign kid.

 

[Eric is pretending to tutor Kelso in math but is really going to be spending the weekend with Donna]

Eric: So, I can go?

Red: You can go, but I'll be watching the news. And if anything gets vandalized, or explodes, or catches on fire, X is gonna equal me kicking your ass.

 

Donna: Take off your pants.

Eric: All right!

Donna: No! So I can see your tattoo!

Eric: I knew that. I think you're really gonna like it. Just don't be mad if it says... "Debbie." [pulls down his pants and shows his tattoo]

Donna: Woodstock.

Eric: It says "Woodstock"?

Donna: No, it's a picture of Snoopy's friend Woodstock! [laughs] You have a little yellow bird on your ass!

 

[Donna is cleaning up the garden, when she walks to the hedge and runs into Eric]

Eric: Hey.

Donna: 'Hey'? Is that all you have to say to me?

Eric: Well, what do you have to say to me?

Donna: Huh. How about this? 'Hey.'

Eric: I'm not wrong!

Donna: You are wrong, you dill-hole! [walks off]

Eric: Oh, great. That's nice. That's really mature. Double dill-hole! [to himself] Double dill-hole?!

 

Theo: I'm not a screw-up like my cousin Leo here.

Leo: It's true, man.

Theo: I used to be like Leo, sitting around all day, wasting my life, by then one day I was in my apartment and then all the smoke cleared-

Kitty: Well, see, Red. That's nice. He had an epiphany.

Theo: Actually, I ran out of weed and the smoke cleared. Then I saw how trashed my apartment was so I rebuilt it. Been a contractor ever since.

Red: Well, I'm sold.

 

[Kelso and Eric are trying to read the number on Eric's hand}]

Kelso: 72936.... aprisand?

Eric: Oh yeah maybe. I'm not really sure how to dial that though.

Kelso: You just (points to phone) ...oh man me neither.

 

Fez: I just want her back the way she was the first night I met her. On her knees, chugging beer straight from the keg.

Big Rhonda: But Fez, I threw up twice that night.

Fez Yes. All over my heart.

 

Kelso: I don't want to play Joseph as a carpenter. Oh! How about I play him as a spaceman?

Eric: Kelso, I don't think Jesus was the son of a spaceman.

Kelso: Really? Well, where do you think God lives?

Leo: It's true, man. [Points upward]

 

[Eric and Red both grab the last waffle]

Eric: Hey...leggo my Eggo.

Red: Hey...leggo my foot up your ass!

[Eric drops the waffle]

 

[Kelso gives Jackie an early Valentine's Day present out of his earnings from being a sperm donor. She doesn't know the source of the income]

Jackie: [sees earrings] Oh my God, Michael. These earrings are gorgeous.

Hyde: Big day at the office?

Kelso: Yeah, I worked a double shift.

 

Jackie: Michael...

Kelso: [groggy] Jackie? Am I dreaming?

Jackie: Yes, you are.

Kelso: Are we gonna do it?

Jackie: Yes, we are.

Kelso: Cool. Where's Donna?

Jackie: WHAT?! [attacks Kelso]

 

[Eric and Donna talk about bad taste at the Forman living room]

Donna: Well, I think this whole room is a great example of bad taste. [Kitty and Red just walked in]

Kitty: Excuse me?

Donna: Uh, Mrs Forman-

Kitty: I have spent years picking every item in this room so that I would be surrounded by the things that I love and the people I thought loved me.

Red: Hey, Kitty, how about a nap?

Kitty: [snaps at Red] And you, [picks up TV remote control] have you fixed the damn clicker yet? What good is a clicker if it won't click?!? [stomps at remote]

 

Ms. Magee: Eric, I thought we agreed this isn't this the best time to discuss this.

Eric: Oh, no, I meant—

Red: Discuss what?

Fez: About how he's failing math!

Red: What?

Eric: Fez, what the hell?

Fez: I've been drinking.

 

Eric: Ground me.

Red: What?

Eric: I am not strong enough. If I'm gonna shake this Donna thing, I am gonna need some serious discipline. Please ground me.

Red: You got it, pal. You're grounded!

Eric: One more thing. Donna's in the kitchen; I need you to get rid of her for me.

Red: Do I have to be nice about it?

Eric: No.

Red: This is the happiest day of my life.

 

[Kitty, Red and the gang catches Eric and Donna having sex on the kitchen table]

Kitty: OH MY GOD!

Donna: Oh my God!

Hyde: Alright! It's Donna's butt!

Red: DAMN IT!! That's where I eat dinner!

 

[Fez confronts Nina for breaking up with him.]

Fez: Nina, I thought we were so happy together. What happened?

Nina: Fez, right now I'm at a point in my—

Fez: Oh, cut the crap, heart-breaker! I want the truth!

Nina: Hey, the truth is you're too needy.

Fez: Too needy? I'm sorry, but a man in his sexual prime has needs. And you are lucky to have such a stallion at your disposal.

Nina: No, your needs are fine. It's your neediness that's the problem.

Fez: Then why didn't you say that?

Nina: I didn't want you to make a scene.

Fez: You didn't want me to make a scene? You didn't want me to make a scene! [dumps the food basket of the man at the next table] Ha! You dump Fez, I dump fries! There's your scene! [to the man with the basket] Here's a dollar. Sorry about the scene.

 

[Eric and Donna are sitting in the basement. Red has been pressuring them to marry]

Eric: You know what I think Donna? I think this whole get married in a week stuff is just Red trying to get us to call the whole thing off. Yeah, but you know what? That ain’t happening Missy. You know what we’re gonna do? We’re gonna teach Red a lesson and get married out of spite. Yeah screw you Red!

Donna: Wow! It’s every little girl’s dream to get married out of spite!

 

[Fez has been caught by the police while painting the water tower.]

Fez: Um... I am a painter from a foreign country, and this is my gift to America!

Police: Get off the water tower!

Fez: [raises his arms] People of America, I give you "Genitals in the Sky"!

 

Kitty: Eric, we have to keep your father calm — so no shenanigans.

Eric: Oh, Mom, I haven't shenaniganned in six years. I've hooliganned, I've no-good-nicked, I've ne'er-do-welled. Just yesterday I found myself rabble-rousing.

Red: Will you shut up!

 

[Eric, Hyde, and Kelso have a Circle while raiding the police academy's main office]

Eric: These samples are way better than our samples. You see how I sniffed them out? I could so be a police dog!

Kelso: [wear dog training collar] Cool, training collar. You know, I so don't get how they think I could be a stooge. Am I so on top of everything? What does this thing do? [presses button and gets shocked] AAH!

Hyde: Give me that, Kelso, you're gonna hurt yourself.

 

[Eric wants Kitty's help after Donna might be pregnant. Donna worries that Eric will be too obvious about who is pregnant.]

Eric: Donna, I think I know how to be subtle.

[Scene change]

Eric: MOMMY, MOMMY, DONNA MIGHT BE PREGNANT!

 

[Kitty is exasperated that Red is eating lasagna for lunch and his heart monitor does not sound the alarm despite the high cholesterol]

Kitty: I mean, what does it take to get that beeper going?

Pam: [walks in with Bob] Hi, Red. [Red's heart monitor beeps]

Red: Wow, that must be the lasagna kicking in!

 

Kelso: I'm sorry. Look, I've been screwed by Darwinism... never needed to evolve listening skills 'cause my looks are so highly developed.

Donna: Um, that's not how evolution works.

Kelso: Yeah, sure it is. Look, say I had to catch my own food, right? But I only ate really fast animals? My feet would eventually evolve into rockets.

Hyde: Man, it's amazing your brain doesn't evolve into pudding.

 

[Fez takes a bottle out of Kelso's baby bag.]

Kelso: Don't touch that! It's breast milk!

Fez: Breast milk... from real breasts? [looks at Donna's chest] What don't they do?

 

Red: [catching Kitty smoking the gang's stash in the bathroom]): What do you have to say for yourself?

Kitty: I'M STARVING!

 

Jackie tries to hit on Donna's date, who walks away]

Jackie: [rants off at bar patrons] Ah come back here! Nobody ignores Jerky Backhart! I am adorable! I am engaging and I'm DAMN likeable. And if you're too stupid to see that, then I feel sorry for you! [her dress slips off her shoulder] 'Cause if anyone should be the center of attention here, it's me.

Donna: Jackie! [tries to cover Jackie up]

Jackie: Get off me! [Donna whispers something in her ear] What the hell is a "boobs out"? [looks down] AAARRGGHHHH!!!!

 

[Red gets season tickets for the Packers.]

Kitty: Red, I don't wanna move. [Red is nonplussed] I was gonna tell you, but ever since we decided to move, you've been so happy and smiling and you're never that way except for when you kill a deer... Red, this is my home. I don't wanna leave.

Red: [holds Kitty's hand] Kitty, we don't have to go anywhere. I don't care where I live, as long as I am with you.

Kitty: Really?

Red: [softly] Of course. [Kitty hugs him from behind.] I love you.

Kitty: Oh, I love you, too.

Red: I was talking to the tickets.