A Christmas Post: True Christmas Story: Funny Christmas Conversations: From Denny: Think back. How much can you remember about the things your parents used to tell you about Santa? This Christmas Eve my husband and I started that conversation. Though we have been married many years there were still some things we did not know about each other.
We laughed about the incredible stories our parents told us on Christmas Eve. It was becoming a contest between whose parents were the most outrageous storytellers.
Do you remember the funny and downright lame excuses your parents used to give you when talking about Santa coming to visit on Christmas Eve? 3 videos.
I've been blogging for three years now and have found loads of Christmas music of all genres - and still adding. Interesting food to enjoy along with Christmas humor to keep you laughing as well as munching through your busy holidays.
This year I'm adding more Christmas stories and poems, the classics. Every year there are new recipes to try so the holiday food train just keeps on rolling!
From Denny: This will have you laughing so hard. Be careful not to fall off the chair. Check out the father's sock foot up on the wall and hear him snickering in the background while the mother films the funny episode.
The dog is a husky and is named Angel singing along with her human, a baby named Lexi. Lexi is so young her tongue muscles have not caught up with her thoughts she is trying to express. It's as if the dog understands her conversation that probably goes something like this:
The baby: Let's sing together. The parents are filming and we have to make this look good. Come on; it will make them happy.
The dog: OK, kid, I'll sing along so you won't howl alone. Hey, people, your kid is trying to tell you something. Like, do you think, you could put the video camera down long enough to look into this? OK, I'll sing along for a short bit but don't count on this every time they pull out the video camera, kid.
Hey, listen, people, this kid has loaded up her diaper pretty large. Do you have Smell-A-Vision? I'm downwind and the smell is something awful. I'll give you a thousand dollars if you change that diaper right now!
You sure are loud and demanding, kid. OK, I've had enough of this loud stuff. Girl, you are beginning to hurt my ears. Puppies aren't this noisy. I'm gonna go lie down somewhere quiet. You folks handle this. And then the baby hurriedly crawls off, following the dog... Thus endeth the recital.
The Social Poets: Political Cartoon, Video: Obama And His Fellow Election Pundits: From Denny: As the 2012 election gears up to wear out the American public this month and for the next year nonstop, I thought I'd remind my fellow media guys - and now President Obama - just how bad they often look when giving their opinions, especially of their own accomplishments. It really is the season of having to endure more delusional smug political propaganda from both sides of the aisle.
Tis the season of the cartoonish political pundit, spouting off silly opinions that rarely ever come true but sure makes for funny entertainment. This pastel drawing is a classic of mine. It was drawn when George Bush 43 began his campaign for president back in 1998.
The Repbulicans tout how they are gods we the voters are supposed to bow down and worship. You see, they keep their message pretty simple: Worship me; get nothing and like it.
From Denny: Every animal lover will laugh at this one. Hey, the dog just wanted to get a good puppy massage from his owner.
Of course, with it being winter and the air so dry the dog hair got so charged up it produced this hilarious result - with the dog wondering why everyone was laughing. Check it out:
From Denny: Like any responsible journalist I was waiting to make sure the end of the world did not arrive so I could report on it. Now that the end of the world has been rescheduled by an 89-year-old senile pastor until 21 October 2011 all news personnel are free to make mock - at least until the next end date shows its ugly face.
Meanwhile, said pastor is frantically busy "dialing for dollars" to increase his retirement fund to gorgeous proportions. He already collected $70 million. I am definitely in the wrong racket... :)
Enjoy the comedy banter. After all, if we are all scheduled to disappear into the abyss we might as well go laughing! I lean toward the Happy Fatalist Philosophy in a 2012 election year.
Funny end of the world rescheduling. - more colors and styles available.
* * * Support Warriors Pearl Foundation - helping homeless female military veterans come home. Visit Denny Lyon Gifts @ CafePress.com - see what's new! Thanks for your support. You rock! Late Nite Jokes:
From Jimmy Kimmel:
The world was supposed to end last Saturday but at the last minute, it was picked up for another season.
Some people sold all they're possessions to prepare for Judgment Day. They're idiots. If the world does end, what are you going to do with your money? Walmart is closed.
Harold Camping has shifted his prediction of the apocalypse from May 21 to October 21, which is great because now I don't have to buy a Halloween costume.
Apparently the Rapture is being produced by the same people that produced 'Spider-Man the Musical.'
The world is ending on Saturday. It would really, really suck if we only get to live three weeks longer than bin laden.
The world is ending on Saturday. We will be judged by Randy and J-Lo, and then I guess we go to Hell. It would really, really suck if we only got to live 3 weeks longer than bin Laden. And speaking of the end of the world, there are only 4 Oprah shows left.
From Conan O'Brien:
The preacher who predicted the apocalypse last weekend now predicts that the world will end in October. It's the first time that someone's end-of-the-world prediction was followed by 'Have a great summer.'
The pastor who incorrectly predicted the Rapture said it was a very tough weekend. To make it worse, his friends keep calling him saying, "Hey, it's not the end of the world!
The good news is, the apocalypse did not happen. The bad news is, we thought it would so we don't have much of a plan for the show.
From David Letterman:
Harold Camping, who predicted the end of the world, says the new date for the apocalypse is October 21. If it rains, it will be October 22.
David Letterman's "Top Ten Harold Camping Excuses" (For the Rapture Not Happening)
10. "Rapture got rained out" 9. "Forgot to carry the 1" 8. "Dates got screwed up because of the Jewish holidays" 7. "Que?" 6. "Hold on, God's texting me . . . Yeah, it's been postponed" 5. "Don't blame me! I voted for Kucinich" 4. "To prevent bear attack, be sure to suspend all food and trash in a tree. I'm sorry, that's from ‘Top Ten Wilderness Camping Tips’" 3. "At 89, I can't remember how to operate the toaster" 2. "Didn't everybody's world end when ‘Oprah’ was canceled?" 1. "I'm crazy"
From Jay Leno:
Harold Camping has now changed his prediction of the Rapture to October 21. Does Jesus work for the cable company now? "I'll be there sometime between May and October, between 9 and 5.
The Rapture-predicting preacher, Harold Camping, is really scaling back his predictions. He now predicts the end of the month will be May 31.
A lot of people are very nervous about this whole Rapture thing, though a lot of people didn't understand it. For instance, Sarah Palin said, 'The raptures were the scariest part of 'Jurassic Park.'
"How about this whole world-coming-to-an-end thing? Look, I love Oprah too, but it was just a TV show!" –Jay Leno
From Bill Maher:
A Christian minister has crunched the numbers, looked at the 8 Ball, and in two hours, the Rapture begins. That's when the really devout, extra-sure-of-themselves fundamentalist Christians will just disappear — or as I call it, a win-win.
From Craig Ferguson:
May 21st is supposed to be Judgment Day. We should send a robot Arnold Schwarzenegger back in time to fix things. Though I suspect if he could go back in time he might fix some other things.
The man that is predicting judgment day predicted the end of the world in 1994. He also predicted that Ashton Kutcher would never return to television.
Wednesday May 18, 2011 Daily Show: Debt to America and End of the World An 89-year-old radio host warns of God's judgment day, and the U.S. government hits the debt ceiling.
You know it's the end of the world when your dog has achieved highest life form...
Now here are some laughs on this video clip of shorts - like Newt Gingrich wearing a tiara, courtesy of David Letterman's photoshop addiction. Watch former president George Bush practically get hit in the face at a baseball game and it sure looked like he was cussing at the baseball player while Laura Bush laughed.
Lady Gaga practically shut down the Amazon site because she was offering a one day price of 99 cents for her new album. Oh, and since the date of 21 May 2011 was supposed to be the end of the world, well, the same guy is now telling us the end of the world is scheduled to come on 21 Oct 2011 - just so he can go "dialing for dollars" a few months more to pad his retirement fund:
Funny end of the world rescheduling. More styles and colors available.
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From Denny: These cartoons will really get you thinking about your current - or, uh, er, past relationships. It sure takes all kinds to make the world go 'round, doesn't it? A little light humor based off reality is just the ticket for a way to ease into a long holiday weekend...
Have a great Memorial Day holiday, chill out to shed yourself of some stress, enjoying some time with family and friends. Be sure to lift your glass to toast those who came before us, sacrificing their lives for our freedom during war time or those who sacrificed as good friends to help keep us balanced in the mundane places of life. Take time to remember the best people in your life and celebrate them this special holiday.
Relationship issues...
The New "See And Be Seen" couple on the block...
Calling in a fashion intervention. The real question is, "But where do you park this guy while he goes through recovery so the neighbors can't see him?"
The best laid plans of mice and men - and first time DIYers...
*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!
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