Funny Geek quotes sayings phrases

For all the geeks out there, do you know someone who tried to teach themselves how to read Barcode? Here is a list of Funny Geek quotes, sayings and phrases. Some of them are from Boardofwisdom who put together a nice compilation themselves.

1. Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF. All my base Are belong to you — someone on SlashDot

2. There is no place like 127.0.0.1

3. Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken

4. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning

5. Computers are incredibly fast, accurate, and stupid; humans are incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant; together they are powerful beyond imagination. — Albert Einstein

6. There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who don’t.

7. If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0

8. 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d

9. I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly

10. I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code

11. My Software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

12. The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!

13. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it’s twice as big as it needs to be.

14. Passwords are like underwear. You should not leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you should not loan them out to strangers

15. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…

16. A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?

17. I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident. I was thinking “What the hell is this guy doing?”

18. Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button.

19. Alert! User Error. Please replace user and press any key to continue

20. If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. — Weinberg’s Second Law

Funny Nasty Sayings

Did you say something or has just simmering water your head?

You have legs like a deer:

Not as thin, but so hairy!

Your mother has only brought it to the world,
so the dog has something to play!

Has anyone ever told you that you look GOOD?
Then lied to you but clean!

You are more fluid than water you're useless!

Go, hide it! Tomorrow is bulky waste!

You probably have one at birth and raised three times
caught only twice ...

Did you get a picture of you?
I'll hang it on the basement door,
see also the rats so that it
and not go into the basement!

I live with many disappointments
but you must also sleep with your ...

Hey, the people at the zoo have so called flat!
Them the thing with the banana sorry they want
you back!

Believe me, no one is perfect!
DU and even more so not!

Imagination is also an education ...

How tall are you?
1.80?
I did not know,
that you can stack shit so high!

When you came into this world your father has determined
shot the stork!

He: Never listen to me someone ...
Psychiatrist: What did they say?


I am sorry for my little bad english, i hope you enjoyed funny nasty sayings on this humor blog..

Cool Funny Sayings and Quotes

Kindly enjoy cool funny sayings and quotes ..

Hope is a good thing - maybe the best thing, and no good thing ever dies

You can't deny laughter, when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. -Stephen King

Never underestimate the power of an extremely pissed off woman - Anonymous

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know i am hilarious. - Anonymous

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Its just that yours is stupid.

When i am reading book and someone asks what i am reading, i never answer them. I just hold up the cover for them. - Anonymous

I would retaliate against your snotty remarks, but since you resemble a garden gnome, i would say the joke is on you.

If you're not good santa doesn't bring you many presents. Like, if you kill someone - that's pretty bad. Then you only get a yayo.

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail.. but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, Man, that was fun.

A guy make s a woman come, it is a talent.. A woman makes a guy come, its a standard.

I am not telling you its going to be easy, i am telling you its going to be worth it.

Sarcasm: the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.

Dependant yes, But also deductible.

Its all good except for poo poo. (Kids sayings) - Delia

Smile don’t frown Look up don’t look down Believe in yourself Don’t let yourself go Just be who you are And let your live flow.

I’m not a fighter. I usually smile and then go into my room and cry my eyes out.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

A smile confuses an approaching frown.

You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.

If you’re not using your smile, you’re like a man with a million dollars in the bank and no checkbook.

Even if I am in a bad mood I have to smile and be nice to the fans.

A smile is a language that even a baby understands.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

A girl you proposed, saying I am not a good girl for you, you can find a nice girl better than me is like An IPHONE seller saying you can find China mobile better than IPHONE
For some more funny quotes ....

Twenty hilarious funny quotes

1. Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. (My personal favorite funny quotes)

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

5. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

6. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

7. You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

8. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

9. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

10. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she will take it anyway.

11. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

12. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

13. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

14. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

15. You are getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

18. It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

19. There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

20. It is no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or
another.

If these twenty hilarious funny quotes are less, here is the link for more funny quotes 

The twenty hilarious funny quotes post is so popular with my readers that i came up with more funny quotes and funny sayings as bonus for you ..

# Asking a bookworm to name their favorite book is like asking a mother to pick a favorite child...

# Your Ex asking to be friends after breaking up is like Kidnappers asking to "keep in touch" after letting you go.

# I love you more today than yesterday. Yesterday you really pissed me off.

# Smile, it scares people ..

# A good man can make you feel sexy, strong and able to take on the world...Ohh sorry that's wine.... wine does that ..

# I never make stupid mistakes, only very very clever ones...

# Get a tattoo. Don’t worry about regret.

# "HAVE PATIENCE" is the favourite word of LAZY PEOPLE

# 3 people = Threesome, 2 people = Twosome and 1 person = ???? Guess ..!!!! one-some..!! No its hand-some

# Going into the unknown is how you expand what is known.