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Showing posts with label short quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label short quotes. Show all posts

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Short funny quotes


Short funny quotes for amusement and facebook status update, enjoy more on itshumour.blogspot.com

Many accidents occur in the home in the kitchen; Unfortunately, most of them come down on the table.

Character is only stubbornness, long live the gypsy.

One should not praise the mustard in a tube.

What is the gardener crocus, the plumber locus.

Students go to the cafeteria so long, until it breaks.

All that is fun is either immoral,prohibited by law or make you fat.

The first thing you lose on a slimming diet is a good mood.

The best thing about winter is that it is too cold to all to catch up the work, you are left in the summer because it was too hot.

A man with a large bank account can not be ugly.

Anyway, it's better to be a little square to be nothing than a round.

"Life is a lot like a roll of toilet paper: the closer you get to the end, the quicker it goes."

I was a beautiful baby, but then you have me mixed up in the hospital.

If I had not been born then I would have to play anyone at all.

When others think you are at the end, we must first start properly.

Youth is granted to us in order to repent of age.

You get old, to begin when people say that you look young.

The best reformers the world has ever seen are those who commence on themselves.


Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. - Irish Proverb

If no fools in the world would be, what would be the world? - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The head is round so that thoughts can change direction. - Francis Picabia

Humor is one of the best pieces of clothing that you can wear in society. - Shakespeare

Men are men in whom puberty and midlife crisis smoothly across. - Anke Engelke

Bart, you can even just hold the steering wheel? I have to scratch myself in two places! Homer Simpson
Aspirin did not do it, so I brought you some cigarettes. - Homer Simpson

The more often a stupidity is repeated, the more it gets the appearance of wisdom. - Voltaire

Marriage is the only lifelong conviction, when one can be pardoned because of poor leadership. - Alfred Hitchcock
We all live under the same sky, but we do not all have the same horizon.-  Konrad Hermann Joseph Adenauer

Natural mind can replace almost every level of education, but no formation of the natural mind. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Twenty hilarious funny quotes

1. Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. (My personal favorite funny quotes)

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

5. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

6. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

7. You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

8. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

9. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

10. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she will take it anyway.

11. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

12. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

13. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

14. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

15. You are getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

18. It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

19. There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

20. It is no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or
another.

hilarious funny quotes

hilarious funny quotes sayings

cool funny quotes

If these twenty hilarious funny quotes are less, here is the link for more funny quotes 

The twenty hilarious funny quotes post is so popular with my readers that i came up with more funny quotes and funny sayings as bonus for you ..

# Asking a bookworm to name their favorite book is like asking a mother to pick a favorite child...

# Your Ex asking to be friends after breaking up is like Kidnappers asking to "keep in touch" after letting you go.

# I love you more today than yesterday. Yesterday you really pissed me off.

# Smile, it scares people ..

# A good man can make you feel sexy, strong and able to take on the world...Ohh sorry that's wine.... wine does that ..

# I never make stupid mistakes, only very very clever ones...

# Get a tattoo. Don’t worry about regret.

# "HAVE PATIENCE" is the favourite word of LAZY PEOPLE

# 3 people = Threesome, 2 people = Twosome and 1 person = ???? Guess ..!!!! one-some..!! No its hand-some

# Going into the unknown is how you expand what is known.

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