Funny Geek quotes sayings phrases

For all the geeks out there, do you know someone who tried to teach themselves how to read Barcode? Here is a list of Funny Geek quotes, sayings and phrases. Some of them are from Boardofwisdom who put together a nice compilation themselves.

1. Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF. All my base Are belong to you — someone on SlashDot

2. There is no place like 127.0.0.1

3. Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken

4. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning

5. Computers are incredibly fast, accurate, and stupid; humans are incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant; together they are powerful beyond imagination. — Albert Einstein

6. There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who don’t.

7. If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0

8. 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d

9. I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly

10. I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code

11. My Software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

12. The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!

13. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it’s twice as big as it needs to be.

14. Passwords are like underwear. You should not leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you should not loan them out to strangers

15. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…

16. A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?

17. I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident. I was thinking “What the hell is this guy doing?”

18. Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button.

19. Alert! User Error. Please replace user and press any key to continue

20. If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. — Weinberg’s Second Law

Funny Math Pickup Lines

Can i explore your mean value?

Since distance equals velocity x time, let's let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.

i = Ø when i am not with you

My love for you is a monotonically increasing unbounded function

You are the solution to my homogeneous system of linear equations.

What's your favorite linear transformation?

Your beauty defies real and complex analysis.

I wish i were a derivative so i could lie tangent to your curves.

I'll take you to the limit as x approaches infinity.

Come on baby, let's off to a decimal place i know of and i'll take you to the limit.

Let's take each other to the limit to see if we converge

Let me integrate our curves so that i can increase our volume

If i were a function you would be my asymptote - i always tend towards you.

Your beauty cannot be spanned by a finite basis of vectors.

My love is like an exponential curve. it's unbounded

My love for you is like a fractal - it goes on forever.

My love for you is like the derivative of a concave up function because it is always increasing. we're going to assume this concave up function resembles x^2 so that slopes is actually increasing.

Twenty hilarious funny quotes

1. Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. (My personal favorite funny quotes)

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

5. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

6. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

7. You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

8. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

9. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

10. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she will take it anyway.

11. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

12. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

13. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

14. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

15. You are getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

18. It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

19. There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

20. It is no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or
another.

If these twenty hilarious funny quotes are less, here is the link for more funny quotes 

The twenty hilarious funny quotes post is so popular with my readers that i came up with more funny quotes and funny sayings as bonus for you ..

# Asking a bookworm to name their favorite book is like asking a mother to pick a favorite child...

# Your Ex asking to be friends after breaking up is like Kidnappers asking to "keep in touch" after letting you go.

# I love you more today than yesterday. Yesterday you really pissed me off.

# Smile, it scares people ..

# A good man can make you feel sexy, strong and able to take on the world...Ohh sorry that's wine.... wine does that ..

# I never make stupid mistakes, only very very clever ones...

# Get a tattoo. Don’t worry about regret.

# "HAVE PATIENCE" is the favourite word of LAZY PEOPLE

# 3 people = Threesome, 2 people = Twosome and 1 person = ???? Guess ..!!!! one-some..!! No its hand-some

# Going into the unknown is how you expand what is known.