Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.
Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.
Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.
Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.
Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.
Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.
Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.
Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.
Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.
Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.
Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.
Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer
Showing posts with label geek fun. Show all posts
Showing posts with label geek fun. Show all posts
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Google Translation Entertainment
Using the Google translator translate sentences.
http://www.google.com/language_tools?hl=en
Use whatever sentence you want!
Next, translate it into Japanese. Then, take the translated sentence, and translate it into Russian. Lastly, translate this back into English, and see how your sentence has been altered! This is really fun!
Here's the steps in a simpler format:
1. Translate sentence from English to Japanese.
2. Translate from Japanese to Russian
3. Translate from Russian to English
4. Post your results back here!
So i will start sentence is I like candies.
English to Japanese:私はお菓子が好きです。
Japanese to Russian:Я люблю конфеты.
Russian to English:I like candies.
http://www.google.com/language_tools?hl=en
Use whatever sentence you want!
Next, translate it into Japanese. Then, take the translated sentence, and translate it into Russian. Lastly, translate this back into English, and see how your sentence has been altered! This is really fun!
Here's the steps in a simpler format:
1. Translate sentence from English to Japanese.
2. Translate from Japanese to Russian
3. Translate from Russian to English
4. Post your results back here!
So i will start sentence is I like candies.
English to Japanese:私はお菓子が好きです。
Japanese to Russian:Я люблю конфеты.
Russian to English:I like candies.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Motorcycles are better than women
* Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2000 miles.
* Motorcycles' curves never sag.
* Motorcycles last longer.
* Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
* You can ride a Motorcycles any time of the month.
* Motorcycles don't have parents.
* Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
* You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
* You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
* If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
* You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is really worn.
* If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
* Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
* When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
* Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
* Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
* New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.
* If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
* If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
* If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
* If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
* You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.
* You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
* You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
* You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that Motorcycles are equals.
* If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.
* You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
* Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.
* Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
* Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
* Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
* Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
* You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
* It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
* If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
* You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
* Motorcycles' curves never sag.
* Motorcycles last longer.
* Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
* You can ride a Motorcycles any time of the month.
* Motorcycles don't have parents.
* Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
* You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
* You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
* If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
* You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is really worn.
* If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
* Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
* When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
* Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
* Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
* New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.
* If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
* If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
* If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
* If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
* You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.
* You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
* You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
* You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that Motorcycles are equals.
* If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.
* You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
* Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.
* Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
* Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
* Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
* Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
* You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
* It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
* If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
* You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Easter egg jokes
Easter Egg questions and answers in hilarious comedy style...
Q. How did the eggs leave the highway?
A. They went through the "Eggs-it".
Q. What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much?
A. He cracked up.
Q. Why couldn't the eggs go out on a hot summer day?
A. They were afraid they would fry!
Q. What did the egg say to the clown?
A. You crack me up!
Q. What part did the egg play in the movies?
A. He was an "Egg-stra".
Q. What do you call a sleeping egg?
A. Egg-zosted!
Q. What did the eggs do when the light turned green?
A. They egg-cellerated.
Q. What do you call an egg who is on the computer too much?
A. An "Egg Head".
Q. Why didn't the egg play on the computer very much?
A. His brain would be fried.
Q. What sport are the eggs good at?
A. Running!
Q. What did the eggs do on the Internet?
A. They looked for a good egg-site!
Q. Why couldn't the egg family watch T.V.?
A. Because their cable was scrambled.
Q. What website do eggs go on to chat?
A. "eggs.com"
Q. Why was the father egg so strict?
A. He was hard-boiled.
Q. What did the mommy egg say to the baby egg?
A. You're "Egg-stra special".
Q. What's red, pink and blue with yellow all over?
A. An Easter egg rolling down the hill.
Q. Why won't eggs go out at night?
A. They don't want to get "beat up".
Q. Why did the egg go to school?
A. To get "Egg-u-cated".
Q. Why wouldn't the egg take a hot bath?
A. He didn't want to be hard boiled.
Q. How did the egg roll across the road?
A. It just rolled, silly!
Q. How do eggs stay healthy?
A. They "Egg-cercize".
Q. What kind of plants do eggs keep?
A. Eggplants, silly!
Q. Why was the little girl sad after the race?
A. Because an egg beater!
Q. Why did the egg go to the baseball game?
A. For the egg-stra innings!
Q. What kind of jokes do eggs tell?
A. Egg yolks!
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Egg.
Egg who?
Egg-cited to see me?
Q. What do you call an egg from outer space?
A. An "Egg-stra terrestial".
Q. What do you get if you cross an egg with a vacuum cleaner?
A. I have no idea, but I bet it's messy!
Q. Why did the egg cross the road?
A. Because he wasn't a chicken yet!
Q. What day does an egg hate the most?
A. Fry-days.
Q. What came first, the chicken or the egg?
A. Neither--the Easter Bunny!
WISH YOU HAPPY EASTER TO ALL MY READERS, I AM SURE YOU ALL LIKED THIS EASTER EGG JOKE...
Q. How did the eggs leave the highway?
A. They went through the "Eggs-it".
Q. What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much?
A. He cracked up.
Q. Why couldn't the eggs go out on a hot summer day?
A. They were afraid they would fry!
Q. What did the egg say to the clown?
A. You crack me up!
Q. What part did the egg play in the movies?
A. He was an "Egg-stra".
Q. What do you call a sleeping egg?
A. Egg-zosted!
Q. What did the eggs do when the light turned green?
A. They egg-cellerated.
Q. What do you call an egg who is on the computer too much?
A. An "Egg Head".
Q. Why didn't the egg play on the computer very much?
A. His brain would be fried.
Q. What sport are the eggs good at?
A. Running!
Q. What did the eggs do on the Internet?
A. They looked for a good egg-site!
Q. Why couldn't the egg family watch T.V.?
A. Because their cable was scrambled.
Q. What website do eggs go on to chat?
A. "eggs.com"
Q. Why was the father egg so strict?
A. He was hard-boiled.
Q. What did the mommy egg say to the baby egg?
A. You're "Egg-stra special".
Q. What's red, pink and blue with yellow all over?
A. An Easter egg rolling down the hill.
Q. Why won't eggs go out at night?
A. They don't want to get "beat up".
Q. Why did the egg go to school?
A. To get "Egg-u-cated".
Q. Why wouldn't the egg take a hot bath?
A. He didn't want to be hard boiled.
Q. How did the egg roll across the road?
A. It just rolled, silly!
Q. How do eggs stay healthy?
A. They "Egg-cercize".
Q. What kind of plants do eggs keep?
A. Eggplants, silly!
Q. Why was the little girl sad after the race?
A. Because an egg beater!
Q. Why did the egg go to the baseball game?
A. For the egg-stra innings!
Q. What kind of jokes do eggs tell?
A. Egg yolks!
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Egg.
Egg who?
Egg-cited to see me?
Q. What do you call an egg from outer space?
A. An "Egg-stra terrestial".
Q. What do you get if you cross an egg with a vacuum cleaner?
A. I have no idea, but I bet it's messy!
Q. Why did the egg cross the road?
A. Because he wasn't a chicken yet!
Q. What day does an egg hate the most?
A. Fry-days.
Q. What came first, the chicken or the egg?
A. Neither--the Easter Bunny!
WISH YOU HAPPY EASTER TO ALL MY READERS, I AM SURE YOU ALL LIKED THIS EASTER EGG JOKE...
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Funny but true McDonald's Job Application
This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM. (
NAME: George Ballmun
DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA HA, but seriously, whatever is available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
NAME: George Ballmun
DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA HA, but seriously, whatever is available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
How to scare your neighbors
1.) Order pizza and other food to their house and pick it up at their doorstep claiming that you don't have a phone.
2.) Stand over the plants in your yard with a hose and Scream, "I have your life in my hands, bow down to me!". Then point at each one and declare them good or bad plants, while watering the bad ones.
3.) Bring them restraining orders on inanimate objects in their house. (i.e.: chairs, books, lamps, etc.)
4.) Ask them if you can put your trash in their cans, if they ask why say, "Mine are full of bodies", then stutter and say, "I uh mean other garbage." walk away laughing hysterically.
5.) Patrol the perimeter of your yard while carrying a broom. If they come close state that there is a 3 foot neutral area between the two yards.
6.) At night transplant the plants in their garden. In the morning say, "looks like they're on the move again."
7.) When they're watching TV, pull a lawn chair behind their window. Sit down with popcorn and a drink and ask them if they could open a window so you can hear too.
8.) Build snowmen with name tags of your neighbors. Each day hack off a different part of their body.
9.) Use your TV remote to change the channels on their TV from outside. If asked why, say you protest such programs. (The more educational the program the better.)
10.) Dig shallow graves at night filling your yard with brown grave patches. Make markers out of household appliances.
2.) Stand over the plants in your yard with a hose and Scream, "I have your life in my hands, bow down to me!". Then point at each one and declare them good or bad plants, while watering the bad ones.
3.) Bring them restraining orders on inanimate objects in their house. (i.e.: chairs, books, lamps, etc.)
4.) Ask them if you can put your trash in their cans, if they ask why say, "Mine are full of bodies", then stutter and say, "I uh mean other garbage." walk away laughing hysterically.
5.) Patrol the perimeter of your yard while carrying a broom. If they come close state that there is a 3 foot neutral area between the two yards.
6.) At night transplant the plants in their garden. In the morning say, "looks like they're on the move again."
7.) When they're watching TV, pull a lawn chair behind their window. Sit down with popcorn and a drink and ask them if they could open a window so you can hear too.
8.) Build snowmen with name tags of your neighbors. Each day hack off a different part of their body.
9.) Use your TV remote to change the channels on their TV from outside. If asked why, say you protest such programs. (The more educational the program the better.)
10.) Dig shallow graves at night filling your yard with brown grave patches. Make markers out of household appliances.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Email Mistake
A man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida.
His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
Unable to find the piece of paper on which he had written her e-mail address,
he did his best to type it from his memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter,
and his Email was send to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor,
let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband.
Very Happy
Thanks.
His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
Unable to find the piece of paper on which he had written her e-mail address,
he did his best to type it from his memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter,
and his Email was send to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor,
let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband.
Very Happy
Thanks.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Funny Technology Cartoons
MICROSOFT AND YAHOO
Rake The Leaves, Son
Can’t Catch a Break
The Dark Side of Google Chrome
COLOR FAA Communication Flop
Should You Buy a Smartphone or Gas?
Cell Phone Ban
Like cartoons?....
Rake The Leaves, Son
Can’t Catch a Break
The Dark Side of Google Chrome
COLOR FAA Communication Flop
Should You Buy a Smartphone or Gas?
Cell Phone Ban
Like cartoons?....
Friday, September 11, 2009
Amazing IT Quotes
UNIX is simple. But it just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.
-Dennis Ritchie
Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.
-Ralph Johnson
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
-Fred Brooks
It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it;
It's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.
-Steve McConnell Code Complete
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are sure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
-Bertrand Russell
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be
the process of putting them in.
-Edsger Dijkstra
You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic;
You cannot have both at the same time.
-Bertrand Meyer
There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.
-Alan J. Perlis
Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.
-Bill Gates
The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development
time.
The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the
development time.
-Tom Cargill
Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs.
The Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots.
So far the Universe is winning.
-Anonymous
Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work.
Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works.
Programmers combine Theory and Practice: Nothing works and they don't
know why.
-Anonymous
The Six Phases of a Project:
* Enthusiasm
* Disillusionment
* Panic
* Search for the Guilty
* Punishment of the Innocent
* Praise for non-participants
-Anonymous
No matter how slick (efficient) the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it
in front of a live audience,
The probability of a flawless presentation is
Inversely proportional to the number of people watching,
Raised to the power of the amount of money involved.
-Anonymous
-Dennis Ritchie
Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.
-Ralph Johnson
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
-Fred Brooks
It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it;
It's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.
-Steve McConnell Code Complete
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are sure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
-Bertrand Russell
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be
the process of putting them in.
-Edsger Dijkstra
You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic;
You cannot have both at the same time.
-Bertrand Meyer
There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.
-Alan J. Perlis
Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.
-Bill Gates
The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development
time.
The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the
development time.
-Tom Cargill
Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs.
The Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots.
So far the Universe is winning.
-Anonymous
Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work.
Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works.
Programmers combine Theory and Practice: Nothing works and they don't
know why.
-Anonymous
The Six Phases of a Project:
* Enthusiasm
* Disillusionment
* Panic
* Search for the Guilty
* Punishment of the Innocent
* Praise for non-participants
-Anonymous
No matter how slick (efficient) the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it
in front of a live audience,
The probability of a flawless presentation is
Inversely proportional to the number of people watching,
Raised to the power of the amount of money involved.
-Anonymous
Sunday, August 30, 2009
WORLD'S BEST JOKES COLLECTION
Best Joke in the world
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
Second Place
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,
bullet
Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
bullet
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
bullet
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
bullet
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
bullet
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes is silent for a moment.
“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”
Top joke in USA
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
Top joke in Canada
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.
The Russians used a pencil.
Top joke in Australia
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....”
Top joke in Belgium
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks
Top joke in Germany
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.
The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.”
Top joke in UK
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
Top Joke in England
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”
Top Joke in Wales
A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.
The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied “I don't know, it all happened so fast.”
Top Joke in Northern Ireland
A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.
“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”
“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”
The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”
Top Joke in Scotland
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
Second Place
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,
bullet
Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
bullet
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
bullet
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
bullet
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
bullet
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes is silent for a moment.
“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”
Top joke in USA
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
Top joke in Canada
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.
The Russians used a pencil.
Top joke in Australia
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....”
Top joke in Belgium
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks
Top joke in Germany
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.
The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.”
Top joke in UK
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
Top Joke in England
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”
Top Joke in Wales
A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.
The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied “I don't know, it all happened so fast.”
Top Joke in Northern Ireland
A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.
“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”
“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”
The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”
Top Joke in Scotland
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Friday, August 28, 2009
CA versus MBA
An MBA(Management in Business Administration) and a CA(Chartered Accountant) go on a camping trip, set up their tent ,and fell asleep.
Some hours later, the CA(Chartered Accountant) wakes his MBA(Management in Business Administration) friend and says
"Look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."
The CA asks, "What does that tell you?"
The MBA ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies
and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and
we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"
The CA(Chartered Accountant)is silent for a moment, then speaks.
Some hours later, the CA(Chartered Accountant) wakes his MBA(Management in Business Administration) friend and says
"Look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."
The CA asks, "What does that tell you?"
The MBA ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies
and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and
we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"
The CA(Chartered Accountant)is silent for a moment, then speaks.
"Practically...Someone has stolen our tent".
Monday, August 24, 2009
Glasgow mortuary
A man who just died is delivered to a Glasgow mortuary wearing an
expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
Big Tam the mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the
body dressed.
He points out that the man does look very good in the black suit he is
already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his
best in blue.
She gives Tam a blank cheque and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but
please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day.
To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with
a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.
She says to Tam, 'Whatever the cost, I'm very satisfied.
You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful.
How much did you spend?'
To her astonishment, Tam presents her with the blank cheque.
'No charge, 'he says.
'No, really, I must pay you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!'
she says.
'Honestly, hen,' Tam says, 'it didn't cost nothing.
You see, a dead gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in
shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue
suit.
I asked his missus if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black
suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked
nice.'
'So, I just switched their heads.'
expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
Big Tam the mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the
body dressed.
He points out that the man does look very good in the black suit he is
already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his
best in blue.
She gives Tam a blank cheque and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but
please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day.
To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with
a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.
She says to Tam, 'Whatever the cost, I'm very satisfied.
You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful.
How much did you spend?'
To her astonishment, Tam presents her with the blank cheque.
'No charge, 'he says.
'No, really, I must pay you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!'
she says.
'Honestly, hen,' Tam says, 'it didn't cost nothing.
You see, a dead gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in
shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue
suit.
I asked his missus if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black
suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked
nice.'
'So, I just switched their heads.'
Saturday, August 8, 2009
The Rolex Watch
Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family...
An old Italian Mafia Don is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside.
"Guido, I wanna you lissina me. I wanna you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy.
Somma day you gonna be runna da business,
you gonna have a beautiful wife, lots a money,
a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos"
"Anna somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe find a you wife inna bed with another man.
Whatta you gonna do then?
An old Italian Mafia Don is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside.
"Guido, I wanna you lissina me. I wanna you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy.
Somma day you gonna be runna da business,
you gonna have a beautiful wife, lots a money,
a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos"
"Anna somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe find a you wife inna bed with another man.
Whatta you gonna do then?
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
At a Doctor's Clinic
One morning at a doctor's surgery a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him "OK, what happened to your back?"
The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him,That's how I strained my back"
The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible.What the hell happened to you?"
He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you
won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge."
The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two patients do. The doctor is shocked.
Again asks, "What the hell happened to youuuuu.....?"
"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor"
The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him,That's how I strained my back"
The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible.What the hell happened to you?"
He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you
won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge."
The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two patients do. The doctor is shocked.
Again asks, "What the hell happened to youuuuu.....?"
"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor"
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Five Classic Microsoft Windows Funny Pranks
Some good ones to play on friends or create havoc for enemies.
Warning: Your friends may become enemies after pulling some of these on them!
1. The Restart Remap
We start with one sure to throw off even the most advanced Windows user. Setup is simple and you need only a few seconds alone on someone's computer. When you get a chance, sneak over and right-click your pal’s icon to Internet Explorer or some other commonly used program. Edit the properties and change the target to: "%windir%\system32\shutdown.exe -r -t 00". Now, every time your buddy tries to run IE, his machine will mysteriously restart — and your laughter will instantly result.
2. Startup Folder Fun
While we're on the topic of system startup, the Windows Startup folder is a fantastic place for fun. Create a text file with an amusing message and throw it in there so your cubicle mate will get a daily greeting — or, if you really want to get evil, add in the restart shortcut from above (not recommended unless you just want to get your ass kicked).
3. Disappearing Desktop
A classic computer prank never goes out of style. The desktop image trick has been around for a bit, but rest assured: There are plenty of unsuspecting victims still to be found. Just head over to an unattended computer, minimize all the windows, and hit the Print Screen key. Paste the captured image into any graphic editing program — even Microsoft Paint will do — then save the file and set it as the desktop background. Then, all you have to do is hide the actual icons on the desktop — put them in a folder somewhere — and your victim will try endlessly to click the nonexistent icons, which are actually just part of the background image. For another variation, leave one program open when you capture the screen and watch as the person tries to click on it, type in it, and close it to no avail.
4. Auto-Insult
There are few things funnier than forcing a friend to insult himself — and Microsoft has made it easy to do just that. Take a moment to edit the Auto correct feature in your colleague's MS Word or Outlook (it's in the Tools menu in both programs). Add a new entry to replace their name with "~censored~," and watch how much more interesting all their emails and documents will suddenly become. A little creativity can take this one in plenty of different and equally entertaining directions.
5. Serious Business
While you're in the MS Word or Outlook settings, another good place to tamper is the dictionary. Replace a few correct words with common misspellings just for giggles. Just be sure to let this one play out and get resolved before your co-worker sends any official memos to the entire corporation.
Warning: Your friends may become enemies after pulling some of these on them!
1. The Restart Remap
We start with one sure to throw off even the most advanced Windows user. Setup is simple and you need only a few seconds alone on someone's computer. When you get a chance, sneak over and right-click your pal’s icon to Internet Explorer or some other commonly used program. Edit the properties and change the target to: "%windir%\system32\shutdown.exe -r -t 00". Now, every time your buddy tries to run IE, his machine will mysteriously restart — and your laughter will instantly result.
2. Startup Folder Fun
While we're on the topic of system startup, the Windows Startup folder is a fantastic place for fun. Create a text file with an amusing message and throw it in there so your cubicle mate will get a daily greeting — or, if you really want to get evil, add in the restart shortcut from above (not recommended unless you just want to get your ass kicked).
3. Disappearing Desktop
A classic computer prank never goes out of style. The desktop image trick has been around for a bit, but rest assured: There are plenty of unsuspecting victims still to be found. Just head over to an unattended computer, minimize all the windows, and hit the Print Screen key. Paste the captured image into any graphic editing program — even Microsoft Paint will do — then save the file and set it as the desktop background. Then, all you have to do is hide the actual icons on the desktop — put them in a folder somewhere — and your victim will try endlessly to click the nonexistent icons, which are actually just part of the background image. For another variation, leave one program open when you capture the screen and watch as the person tries to click on it, type in it, and close it to no avail.
4. Auto-Insult
There are few things funnier than forcing a friend to insult himself — and Microsoft has made it easy to do just that. Take a moment to edit the Auto correct feature in your colleague's MS Word or Outlook (it's in the Tools menu in both programs). Add a new entry to replace their name with "~censored~," and watch how much more interesting all their emails and documents will suddenly become. A little creativity can take this one in plenty of different and equally entertaining directions.
5. Serious Business
While you're in the MS Word or Outlook settings, another good place to tamper is the dictionary. Replace a few correct words with common misspellings just for giggles. Just be sure to let this one play out and get resolved before your co-worker sends any official memos to the entire corporation.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Understanding Engineers
Two engineering students, one pushing a bike, were
walking across a university campus when the other said, "Where did you
get such a great bike?"The second engineer replied, "Well, I was
walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful
woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her
clothes and said, "Take what you want."The first engineer nodded
approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have
fit you anyway."
Understanding Engineers: Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass
is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs
to be.
Understanding Engineers: Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.The engineer fumed, "What's with
those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"The doctor
chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"The
priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with
him."He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"The greens-keeper replied, "Oh,
yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving
our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for
free anytime."The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "
That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them
tonight."The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for
them."The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers: Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil
engineers?Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build
targets.
Understanding Engineers: Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers: Six
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers: Seven
An engineer was crossing the road one day, when a frog called out to
him and said, "If you kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful
princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said "If you kiss me I'll turn back into a
beautiful princess and stay with you for a week."The engineer took the
frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me I'll turn back into a
beautiful princess and stay with you for a week and do ANYTHING you
want me to." Again the engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to his pocket.Finally the frog asked,
"What's the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that
I'll stay with you for a week and do ANYTHING you want me to. Why
won't you kiss me?"The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't
have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"
walking across a university campus when the other said, "Where did you
get such a great bike?"The second engineer replied, "Well, I was
walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful
woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her
clothes and said, "Take what you want."The first engineer nodded
approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have
fit you anyway."
Understanding Engineers: Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass
is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs
to be.
Understanding Engineers: Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.The engineer fumed, "What's with
those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"The doctor
chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"The
priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with
him."He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"The greens-keeper replied, "Oh,
yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving
our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for
free anytime."The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "
That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them
tonight."The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for
them."The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers: Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil
engineers?Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build
targets.
Understanding Engineers: Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers: Six
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers: Seven
An engineer was crossing the road one day, when a frog called out to
him and said, "If you kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful
princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said "If you kiss me I'll turn back into a
beautiful princess and stay with you for a week."The engineer took the
frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me I'll turn back into a
beautiful princess and stay with you for a week and do ANYTHING you
want me to." Again the engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to his pocket.Finally the frog asked,
"What's the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that
I'll stay with you for a week and do ANYTHING you want me to. Why
won't you kiss me?"The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't
have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Engineer VS Management
Engineer VS Management
(Plz Do not take it personal if you are engineer or manager...
its a joke for smiling not a poke..!)
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.
She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.
She descended a bit more and shouted, 'Excuse me sir, can you help me?
I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but
I don't know where I am.'
The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering
approximately 30 feet above the ground.
You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and
between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.'
'You must be an engineer,' said the lady balloonist.
'I am', replied the man. 'How did you know?'
'Well, answered the balloonist, 'everything you told me is
technically correct, but I've no idea what
to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost.
Frankly, you've not been much help to
me at all. If anything you've delayed my trip even more.'
The man below responded, 'You must be in management.'
‘I am,' replied the lady balloonist, 'but, how did you know?'
'Well,' said the man, 'You don't know where you are, or where you're going.
You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air within.
You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and
you expect people beneath you, to solve your problems.’
(Plz Do not take it personal if you are engineer or manager...
its a joke for smiling not a poke..!)
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.
She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.
She descended a bit more and shouted, 'Excuse me sir, can you help me?
I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but
I don't know where I am.'
The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering
approximately 30 feet above the ground.
You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and
between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.'
'You must be an engineer,' said the lady balloonist.
'I am', replied the man. 'How did you know?'
'Well, answered the balloonist, 'everything you told me is
technically correct, but I've no idea what
to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost.
Frankly, you've not been much help to
me at all. If anything you've delayed my trip even more.'
The man below responded, 'You must be in management.'
‘I am,' replied the lady balloonist, 'but, how did you know?'
'Well,' said the man, 'You don't know where you are, or where you're going.
You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air within.
You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and
you expect people beneath you, to solve your problems.’
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