TSA Report

Year-end statistics!

Airport Screening from the Department of Homeland Security

Terrorist Plots Discovered – 0

Transvestites – 133

Hernias – 1,485

Hemorrhoids – 3,172

Enlarged Prostates – 8,249

Breast Implants – 59,350

Natural Blonds – 3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY USCG

Today is the 221^st Birthday of the US Coast Guard. And a great group of guys and gals they are, too.  When the winds blow, the waves are high and life is in peril on the sea they are the ones headed your way.

Their motto is "Semper Paratus," which means "Always Ready." 

And they are, too.  Be it on the sea or in the air.

Back in the day when I was even dumber (yes, I was. Hard to believe, I know) than I am now, we use to kid them, when we met them on the streets of Long Beach, San Diego, San Francisco, Hawaii, and any other Navy town, about being shallow water sailors. Like, “When your ship sinks, you can wade to shore.” 

But believe me, they are deep water sailors, too.   Ice, high winds, driving rain, gales, hurricanes, or chasing drug smugglers, pirates, or illegal immigrants, they are there.

If I am at sea and something goes wrong, I want those dudes coming to the rescue.   They are topnotch seamen, mechanics, pilots and medical personal whose lives are dedicated to saving others.  Hand Salute to all of them.

But they are not a part of the Department of Defense.  Though during war time they have been attached to the Defense Department, they serve under, as of 2003, the Department of Homeland Security.   However  these HLS types are much more intelligent, braver and dedicated to the country than the corn-pone bubble-heads working in the airports.

Anyway, Happy Birthday to a great bunch of guys and gals and thanks for keeping the seas a safe place to sail.

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