12 Funny Facebook Statuses

_______I find people so annoying when they talk to me and expect me to listen to whatever it is they're saying. (funny annoying status)
_______I know that something is very very wrong when I start to feel like the only sane person in the room.
_______Hi Gaga, I wish I could download all your clothes and press delete. (funny status about lady Gaga)
_______I always obey traffic laws.... as soon as I've left my drug dealer's house. 
_______I may or may not have just ruined someone's marriage. But in my defence, I got all my drinks for free tonight.... (funny marriage status)
_______If a midget with down syndrome kept arriving late for work everyday, would it be ok for the boss to say he was always a little tardy??  (funny midget status)

_______If you say, "I have a surprise for you!" and you're not without clothes holding a beer... I'm going to be really embarrassed. (funny surprise status)
_______I want to be a little poorer...I'm very poor right now.  (funny poor status)
_______I'm in a bit of a love affair with my neighbors wifi. I guess you could say we have a connection.  (funny wifi connection status)
_______I signed up for Instagram, I should be receiving my shipment of Coke soon. (funny Instagram status)
_______Me and my girlfriend couldn't be more different. I exist and she doesn't.
_______And for my next trick... watch me down these crushed aspirin in this Bloody Mary and make this hangover disappear! (funny hangover status)
_______I'm not impressed by good looks as long as you look good  (funny looks status)

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