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Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Short Frolicsome Funny Jokes

'Discover the new mean of humor and entertainment with these Frolicsome Funny short Jokes.'

Jokes

It's really rude to talk while I'm interrupting.

If I go sleep at 6 in the morning, does it mean I go sleep early or late?

A man who was having heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were. Naturally, the doctor recommended a heart transplant. The man reluctantly agreed, and asked if there were any hearts immediately available, considering that money was no object.

I laugh at my own texts before i send them because I'm that damn funny.

"I do have three hearts," said the doctor. "The first is from an 20-year old boy, non-smoker, athletic, swimmer, with a great diet. He hit his head on the swimming pool and died. It's $90,000. The second is from a marathon runner, 27 years old, great condition, very strong. He got hit by a bus. It's $130,000. The third is from a heavy drinker, cigar smoker, steak lover. It's $620,000."

"Hey, why is that heart so expensive? He lived a terrible life!"

"Yes, but it's from a lawyer. It's never been used."

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

Jeanne: Hey, Why were you jumping up and down so hard?
Noel: Well, I just took the syrup but forgot to shake the bottle!

My sister is short that her best friend is an ant.

What kind of bees produce milk?
BOOBIES! :-)

My dad is a great musician. One day, he asked my mom if she had heard his last recital.
She replied: "I certainly hope so".

Yo mama so fat that God denied her as he had no room in heaven and the devil said there was no room in hell too.

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How has the Vatican become more holy?
They have introduced woodworm.

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I am one of those bad things that happen to good people.

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I hate everybody, and you’re next!

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Biggest Joke

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I am multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.

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Sasha: It is enough now. I am gaining weight to fast. I have decided. Sim: Good. You are serious about your health. So what have you decided?
Sasha: I made my mind to take my health seriously and have now joined a Health club's FB page.

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Brother: What are you doing?
Me: Washing myself, of course.
Brother: Without soap and water?
Me: Haven't you ever heard of dry cleaning.

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Me often get too bored to stay home but too lazy to go outside.

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Don't go on my look. It’ll only seem kinky the first time…

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I am not like other people. I am different. Because others cry when their boyfriends or girlfriends break-up with them.
But I cry when my net is down or subscription expires.

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kids funny joke

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'Be strong' I always whisper to my wifi signals.

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My friend: Hey Man, are you washing your car?
Me: No. Not at all. I am just watering on it to see if it grows into a Truck.

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My friend Harry was so shy.. Although that girl loved him but he often keep her guessing.
Than she found me for the answer.

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When I run behind them - Thy ignore me but once I stop paying attention...
That's when they start noticing me.

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That one question keep disturbing us - "Why is Monday so near to Friday and Why Friday so far from Monday?"

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How weird it is that how people talk so much about you, when the only thing they actually know about you is your name?

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Jokes about When I die

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That moment when you're taking a picture of yourself and they catch you and you act like you are searching for signals.

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My girlfriend says that she hates drama but it is she who always starts it. LoL.

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There is one strong reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don't have to!

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I am your - You're mine. We go together like copy and paste.

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I agree with you means that I am not agree with you at all. I do this just to keep shut you up.

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You know I already know the truth but It is always fun listening to someone's lie and than make them surprise by yelling at them.

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If someone hates you for no reason, You must do something do give them a pretty good reason.

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That moment when you can't deny someone to use your phone and they start going through your contacts, texts and finally pictures.

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When I make up my mind to - All the good shows and movies begin.

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You can really have the true experienced of fear and ghosts when something falls down on your face right in the middle of the night.

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Mom: Why are you awake at so early hours?
Me: Smiling and uttering "who sleet at night?"

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Me: Many many happy returns of the day.
She: Aww, you remembered my birthday!
Me: Well saying truly I forget but FB reminded me.

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Today my mother's uncle's brother's sister's son's daughter's dog died. Yes.. It was so tragic.

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Boy(while having lunch at Restaurant): Honey.. There is big problem and It is very serious. I hope you'll cooperate with me.
Girl: You gonna give me heart-attack. Share fast.
Boy: I have one more girl in my life..
Girl: Ohhh.. I thought you forgot your violate.

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Dear God.. Make my wishes come true.
1st - My cellphone never ran out of battery..
2nd - My fridge never ran out of food.

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Hi, I am nine and a half inches.
Sorry, I am not interested in friendship with midgets.

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That awesome moment when the whole group laughs at your joke.

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At Bar - One man asks to another man: Share me how does your wife reacts when you go home drunk?
Second man replies: Excuse me . I am not married yet!
First man: Oh my God, You're not married than why are you drinking?

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Some people love complications. They can't take the things as simple as they are.

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Jelly: "Do you have protection?"
Duke: "I don't believe in guns."

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