'Sometimes little silliness avoids lots of awkward situations. It is so enjoyable and lively too. Here, you can also have good time with quotes about being funny and goofy.'
I’m not myself today. Maybe I’m you.
You don't really truly know someone until you get ridiculously drunk with them.
No one can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
- Tallulah Bankhead
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they’re dead.
I think, therefore I’m dangerous.
If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done.
~Ludwig Wittgenstein
I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It's called being freaking hungry.
Save the Dolphins? What did the cows do wrong?
I don't trust people who smile before 8 AM.
Yes, I mentally murder people I don't like.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
Why does Facebook even give me the option to 'like' my own status? Of course I like my status. Of-course I am hilarious.
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
Smile. It confuses People.
Take my advice. I’m not using it.
Loyal people go through the most bullshits.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Secretly trying to touch something that has a "Do Not Touch" message.
Sometimes I just wonder - Am I the only one who wakes up then stays in bed for like another hour?
If I were asked for a one line answer to the question' What makes a woman good in bed?' I would say, 'A man who is good in bed.'
Being silly when you're the first one at the lunch table and you look like a loner.
That awkward moment when you change your FB status to 'single' and your ex gives a like.
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered – Voltaire
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but earth is square, right?
Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain.
If you think I hate you I probably do.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Accidentally saying 'nothing' when they say 'how are you doing?'
I think I've fallen in hate with you.
A problem well stated is a problem half solved.
Giving people advice when I can't even handle my own problems.
I think you're suffering from a lack of vitamin me.
Doctor: Are you sexually active?
Me: I'm not even physically active.
If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
Vodka is just awesome water.
Kiss me if I'm wrong. But dinosaurs still exist right?
Shortest horror story in history: Tomorrow is Monday.
She: You look handsome today.
Me: Was I ugly yesterday?"
Whenever I try to study, I always just end up laying on my bed doing some random things.
You are most welcome to read more entertaining stuff at Jokes with Funny Quotes and Popular Quotes.
I’m not myself today. Maybe I’m you.
You don't really truly know someone until you get ridiculously drunk with them.
No one can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
- Tallulah Bankhead
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they’re dead.
I think, therefore I’m dangerous.
If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done.
~Ludwig Wittgenstein
I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It's called being freaking hungry.
Save the Dolphins? What did the cows do wrong?
I don't trust people who smile before 8 AM.
Yes, I mentally murder people I don't like.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
Why does Facebook even give me the option to 'like' my own status? Of course I like my status. Of-course I am hilarious.
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
Smile. It confuses People.
Take my advice. I’m not using it.
Loyal people go through the most bullshits.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Secretly trying to touch something that has a "Do Not Touch" message.
Sometimes I just wonder - Am I the only one who wakes up then stays in bed for like another hour?
If I were asked for a one line answer to the question' What makes a woman good in bed?' I would say, 'A man who is good in bed.'
Being silly when you're the first one at the lunch table and you look like a loner.
That awkward moment when you change your FB status to 'single' and your ex gives a like.
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered – Voltaire
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but earth is square, right?
Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain.
If you think I hate you I probably do.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Accidentally saying 'nothing' when they say 'how are you doing?'
I think I've fallen in hate with you.
A problem well stated is a problem half solved.
Giving people advice when I can't even handle my own problems.
I think you're suffering from a lack of vitamin me.
Doctor: Are you sexually active?
Me: I'm not even physically active.
If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
Vodka is just awesome water.
Kiss me if I'm wrong. But dinosaurs still exist right?
Shortest horror story in history: Tomorrow is Monday.
She: You look handsome today.
Me: Was I ugly yesterday?"
Whenever I try to study, I always just end up laying on my bed doing some random things.
You are most welcome to read more entertaining stuff at Jokes with Funny Quotes and Popular Quotes.
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