13 Funny,Witty,Hilarious and Clever Facebook Statuses

_______It brought happy tears to my eyes when I heard my child crying at 3 am and asking for his mom and not for me  (funny lovely status)

_______a mysterious hole has been found in my lesbians neighbours wall............me and a couple friends are looking into it  (funny status about lesbians)

_______My first memory was 9 months before I was born. I went to this crazy party with dad and left with mom :P   (crazy funny status)

_______I'm hungry and broke. And all I've got left is news-feed.

_______It's just dawned on me that I'm becoming increasingly tired of being me. Something needs to break before I break it myself.  (funny break status)

_______Am I the only one who suddenly flies into a violent rage for no apparent reason, or does it happen to you t... AARGH! TO HELL WITH THIS SH!T!  (funny rage status)

_______Please do not assume that the fact that I'm better than you in every imaginable way means that I have a superiority complex. It irritates me when plebeians do that.

_______Deciding to wake up this morning was not one of my wisest decisions. My hair hurts.

_______It's so cute when I see people holding hands and kissing in public... but when I try to do it, they just point and scream "Bad Man" then call the cops! (funny loving making status)

_______I feel that i lost something but I don't know if it's my car keys or my sense of humor (humorous status)

_______So I said to my boss “How are you?” and he said “Good, how are you?” & I said “Good, how are you?’ and then he asked me if I was high.  (funny high status)

_______Guys who learn from their past mistakes gets two things: 1) Experience. 2) Girlfriends

_______Being single is awesome. I do what I want, I say what I want, and I sleep with who ever will let me. (funny being single status)

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