(Now Pay Attention You Human Types)
'1' Blaming your farts on me...not funny...not funny at all!
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'2' Yelling at me for barking...I'M A DAMN DOG!
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'3' Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
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'4' Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!
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'5' Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
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'6' The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooo! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain!
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'7' Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
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'8' Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
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'9' Dog sweaters. Hello? Haven't you noticed the fur?
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'10' How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.
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Now lay off me on some of these things.
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'2' Yelling at me for barking...I'M A DAMN DOG!
--------------------------------------------------
'3' Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
--------------------------------------------------
'4' Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!
--------------------------------------------------
'5' Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
--------------------------------------------------
'6' The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooo! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain!
--------------------------------------------------
'7' Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
--------------------------------------------------
'8' Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
--------------------------------------------------
'9' Dog sweaters. Hello? Haven't you noticed the fur?
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'10' How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.
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Now lay off me on some of these things.
We both know who's boss here!
You don't see me picking up your poop do you?
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