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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Comical Quotes

That awkward moment between birth and death.

“No comment” is a comment.

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.

Nobody goes there anymore because it's too crowded.

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them is making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.

The best way to make friends: bring a pack of gum.

When I was a kid, trying not to color outside of the lines was my biggest problem.

That awkward moment when your “friend” invites everyone but don’t invite you.

We all have that one friend with a funny laugh.

When I say ”there's nothing to eat” I mean there's nothing I like.

Doctor: "So what kind of birth control are you using?" Me: "My appearance."

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