"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity."
"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather… not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."
"I am not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."
"If you can smile when things go wrong, That means you have someone in mind to blame."
"His I.Q. is so low you can’t test it. You have to dig his brain for it."
"Money is the root of all evil, for more information, send $50 please."
"He broke her heart, she broke his xbox. What do you think who cried harder?"
"Good friends don’t let you do stupid things alone."
"Money does not bring happiness, but shopping does."
"I am writing a book. I have got the page numbers done. Now I just have to fill the rest."
"Sex is like a restaurant. Sometimes you get excellent service, sometimes you get very poor service, sometimes you just have to rely on self-service."
"It's an irony that thousand of years have gone in people doing algebra, but “X” is still unknown."
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