Irony

Why the first five days after the weekend are always the toughest?

My maturity level depends on who I'm with.

Hell with love, give me food.

I hate it when I have to be nice to someone who I really wanna throw a brick at.

My life will not be complete until I’ve walked away from an explosion in slow motion.

I never argue, I just explain why I'm right.

I need alcohol..bBecause no great story ever started with someone eating a salad...