Mother-In- Law

That’s Dot working on her crossword puzzle.

My eighty-seven year old mother-in-law, Dot, comes down from New Jersey each year for two or three weeks over Christmas (Judy’s sister back home is Jehovah Witness and Dot has no one to celebrate with.)

You are seeing her above in her natural element when she is here.  On her fat ass reading or working crosswords.   She will get up to eat (if she can’t get someone to bring it to her) and go to the bathroom.  With the latter, our toilet paper use doubles…my god how big is that hole?   And she takes pills for every ailment known to man and wears patches for pain.  She takes stool softeners and then a pill to keep her from shitting her brains out.  Yet Judy had to run to the store to get her a laxative.  She’s a trip.  And Judy has to make EVERY decision for her. 

Yet she is sweet and appreciative of all the attention (she doesn’t get it at home.)  However, she can be draining on the soul and wear a person out.  So when it’s time for her to leave, there aren’t too many tears shed.

Today was the day!

But taking her to the airport wasn’t the only thing I had to do today.  After dropping her off, I had to go pick up my  nephew, David, and take him for his follow up visit after his back surgery (he came out great, by the way – thank you for asking.)  So I had time to drop her off and drive over to David’s with plenty of time to spare.

Dot always has more stuff going back than she did when she came down.  Christmas, ya know!  So she packs her bags with what she came with and we box up all the other stuff and mail it to her.  There were several bags and boxes in her room to be packed up.

She told me she only had one suitcase and one carry-on.  So I took her suitcase out to the car while she took her time with her walker going to and getting into the car.  And off we go on our hundred mile trip to the airport…through the heart of downtown Atlanta during morning rush hour traffic.  But the trip ran pretty smooth today.  No wrecks to deal with (a rarity during the rush hour around here.)

As I was about to get off I-85 to go to the airport unloading area, I told Dot to get her boarding pass out.  She said it was in the blue bag in the back seat.

“What blue bag?” 

“My carry-on!”

“Did you put it in the car?”

“No! You were supposed to bring it out with my suitcase.”

The blue bag was on the other side of the room with the presents to be mailed and the suitcase was on her bed.  Who would have known?

Anyerror, this is one of the reasons I don’t carry a gun in my car.  Yet I was wishing with every fiber of my being for an ejection seat on the passenger side.

“That’s okay, we can print out another boarding pass at the airport.”

“But my picture id is in my carry-on.”

(Can I open the door and push her out?)

So, I have no other choice but to turn around and go back the 100 mils to get her stuff.  She is apologizing profusely and I am telling her that it’s okay.  It was my fault for not realizing I was dealing with a lazy…oh, forget it.

So on the way back I decided to just change the flight and send her ass home tomorrow.  She can pay for the flight change. 

She didn’t say another word all the way home.  But she did get to eat the doughnut she had in her walker pouch (where she normally keeps her billfold with her charge cards and id.)

I had to drive like a bat out of hell to cover the 100 miles back to get David to the doctor.  I had to call and tell them we would be late and arrived only 30 minutes late.

But have no worries about Dot.  I get to do it all over again in the morning.

Tomorrow night will be SWEEETTTT!

And don’t forget to read the previous post.  It is for you on educational benefit.